I have been trying to deal with people via email but it's too slow.
I am a childhood abuse and domestic violence survivor with PTSD who has spent the last 5 years as a hostage of the Court of Protection for reasons I don't understand. I am now in a 'supported' flat in Bristol where I am being abused. I am regularly assaulted by staff. I am denied proper meals, I am not allowed to have people come to the flat and they monitor me online. The stress has caused me to become severely chronically ill (I believe I have Graves' disease (autoimmune hyperthyroidism))
Part of PTSD for me is hyperacusis, that means I am pathologically hypersensitive to noise. Where I am is on the B4469, which is a direct route to Frenchay Hospital, so there are a lot of ambulances and police cars. I just have to deal with that because I can’t control it.
The flat stinks and there are flies everywhere, NOBODY should be forced to live in this inhuman state, but I have no choice as I am denied the means to keep it clean - they won’t even give me bin bags! Then they’ll assault me because I’ve not cleaned it! I am being held hostage because it’s been decided - assumed - that I don’t understand about personal and environmental hygiene, NOT that I am someone suffering from severe trauma, who was living in a mess because she needed help for that trauma and, when she sought help, the LAST thing she expected to happen was that she was put in a situation which is nothing more than legitimised state-sanctioned domestic violence, from which she can’t escape.
I also have to contend with staff constantly walking around outside the flat door, making the floorboards creak, which TERRIFIES me. They don’t care. I have explained why I don’t like them doing it, they ignore me, and the manager has now told me that I am "disrespecting staff" and "preventing" them from "doing their jobs". To continue to do something when you know the effect it’s having on someone is abuse. These people are abusers. They don't care about me, all they care about are their jobs. If I don't do what they demand, when they demand they attack me. I have been thrown against walls and held prone to the point I've blacked out from not being able to breathe. Umpteen safeguarding reports have been made and ignored. I have been in contact with A&S plod via email and been informed that they won't do anything because there's "no evidence a crime has been committed".
They say they are allowed to treat me like this, that it isn't abuse because it's "written down", I I ask to see where, they claim they "don't have to show me" and if I persist they threaten to call the police because I'm "scaring" them (one loon even threatened to call the police and tell them I had a knife and was threatening to stab her!)
I am trapped in here with people who don't give a **bleep** about my mental and physical health and wellbeing; due to the court order I have no voice, they are regularly in breach of the Care Act (and my advocate is now basically ghosting me).
Staff have taken my phone (they claim it's "safeguarding") and I'm reticent to get another one, but I don't see what choice I have, my life is in danger (due to my suspected Graves' disease I am losing my sight. Email isn't fast enough - and it's almost the weekend, they ramp up the abuse at the weekend. I had a contract before (my mother arranged it), but I don't have much money (because I don't have access to a lot of my own money).
They are acting no differently to my abusive, controlling alcoholic ex. This is coercive control, this is abuse, this is domestic violence. I am not safe and nobody seems to care. I'm TERRIFIED they're going to kill me. Obviously, I've told my social worker about the abuse, but she's not listening. She sent me an email once claiming that I'd given my address to someone and that she was worried I could be exploited and that people weren't to come to the the flat because she wants me to be safe. If she wanted me to be safe, she'd get me the f**k out of here. I have detailed the abuse to her. I have sent her recordings and photos - and she sends me that.
I don't think I can do anything else without a phone, I need the immediacy. Thing is, if they see I have another phone, they're very likely to take it again (they open all my post - there's a LOT of stuff they've not given me, all of it innocuous). I'm trapped in the flat (there's an alarm on the door (100dB) to prevent me leaving) , so I'm stymied. How can I get a phone which doesn't look like a phone...? Obviously the phone will look like a phone, but I can hide that (there are places I know they won't look) but if the box is obviously a phone box, I won't get it) I was on an unlimited data contract before, and I would very much like to have that back to get away from their snooping (they've taken the router from the flat).
I don't know why I've just typed all that - I mean this is a phone forum, it's not like there's going to be anyone here who can help, is there...? But I do need a phone - and I need it to not look like it's a phone.
Isn't @XRaySpeX down this way...?
