Help needed!

[Chise]

Hiya all, In need of some help here. This is regarding safeguarding in this Digital World. It appears that protecting your children is becoming harder and harder!

The situation is concerning parental contact. The EE Smart Router Manager does not appear to be able to filter or block unwanted connections. A child, who lives with the Resident Parent is trying to prevent the Non Resident Parent from this invasion into the home. The issue is with Apps and/or Gaming Systems. In particular but, not excluding similar systems, the Meta Quest VR systems. The child's Non Resident Parent (NRP) is coercive and manipulating and has now purchased a Meta Quest system. Unfortunately, this now means the NRP can listen in and access all background noise and conversations. I not trying to prevent contact but it appears this intrusion is unsettling and intrusive. 

I don't want to deny the child as this works against the RP.  I'm already becoming the enemy since this started.

Is there any features on the EE Router that I can utilise to block these contacts?

The exploitation of modern digital tools for unauthorized monitoring in parental disputes not only violates personal privacy but also disrupts the stability and well-being of vulnerable family units.

Already Apps like Life360 have caused issues as the NRP uses the information to stalk from afar!

It now appears the Developers and TelCo's now need to take responsibility. It's a minefield when your non tech.

[Mustrum]

@Chise   I think you are seeking answers from the wrong area.

If you do not want to share data with others then do not give them the access via the App or game. If VR devices are left with an open mike when not using it, teaching the child to log/switch off will stop anyone listening in. But the purpose of the games are to have a shared experience with other, but normally by inviting them to join your area, or you joining theirs.

Being non tech is no excuse these days if you have any responsibility for children/monors, you need to understand what it is you are giving them and how best to protect them.

Get together with other parents and/or the school there will be others locally with the same issues and some of them will know more ways to help.

HTH

[Chise]

The response clearly dismisses the real problem—the misuse of digital technology in coercive control situations—and shifts the burden entirely onto the custodial parent, instead of holding tech companies and TelCos accountable for the lack of effective tools.

Your response is exactly the kind of dismissive attitude that makes safeguarding in the digital age so difficult. This isn’t about 'sharing data'—this is about coercive control and digital intrusion, which are legally recognized forms of abuse under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021.

• The issue is not about general parental responsibility, but about how tech companies fail to provide meaningful restrictions to protect children in high-risk situations.
• Saying “being non-tech is no excuse” is dismissive—not every parent should need to be a cybersecurity expert to keep their child safe.
• TelCos like EE provide routers that lack the ability to restrict or block problematic connections, forcing parents to look for expensive third-party solutions.
• Games and apps like Meta Quest VR, Life360, and Snapchat are not designed with safeguarding against coercive control in mind.

Instead of shifting blame onto parents, the responsibility tech companies, developers, and TelCos have are accountable for building safer environments for children in disputed custody cases.

If you're aware of specific, practical ways to block these intrusions at the router level, rather than just blaming parents, I would appreciate the input."

[Timbo45]

@Chise 

The simple answer to your question is really is NO.

There are 3rd party routers out there that might be able to provide the protection you require but you'd probably need to quite highly qualified in that area to make the required settings.

[XRaySpeX]

The white EE Smart Router, if that's what you really have, has some Access Controls configurable from the EE Home app.

I don't see how it is possible for 1 user of a system, in this case this VR thing, to listen in or access to another user's instance of that system w/out 1 inviting the other to do so. Then it is just a matter personal informed choice.

[Chris_B]

@Chise 

  The only way to stop this would be to not allow an invitation from one user to the other user.    There is nothing the ISP can do about this as this is the purpose of gaming online to play against other online gamers.  

as for 

• The issue is not about general parental responsibility, but about how tech companies fail to provide meaningful restrictions to protect children in high-risk situations.
  
  

Sorry but allowing anyone to be in a situation where something likes could happen isn’t down to ISP to fix.     Online games with others is how online gaming works.     It’s a shared experience with other online gamers and ISP don’t control who you game with online. Thats the end users choice. 

• Saying “being non-tech is no excuse” is dismissive—not every parent should need to be a cybersecurity expert to keep their child safe.

No you don’t but it’s not the ISP fault that the Parent/guardian doesn’t know what their child is doing online.   That responsibility lays with parent/guardian. 

• TelCos like EE provide routers that lack the ability to restrict or blockproblematic connections, forcing parents to look for expensive third-party solutions.

Yes they do, but it’ll not stop a request for someone to join an online game from a request to join.  It’s how online games work with multiple players.    If you want to stop one person from joining another person online game then the user shouldn’t make a request to that person or accept  an invitation to join.     No network can block this it’s user choice. 

• Games and apps like Meta Quest VR, Life360, and Snapchat are not designed with safeguarding against coercive control in mind.

it’s down to the user/parent/guardian to be self-aware of what’s happening when these apps/online games are being used. 

From reading the above, I don’t think you understand how online gaming actually works.