Trying to find a way to use an iPad Pro (M4) as a hotspot

[AtheneNoctua]

I don't want to make this post too long (but it inevitably will be), but I need to find a way to use my M4 as a hotspot (obviously it's cellular) - why...? Allow me to explain...

For reasons I still don't understand (and probably never will) I've found myself detained under the Mental Capacity Act (unlawfully, I might add, as I've never had any form of assessment, and I also don't have an IMCA (independent mental capacity advocate (or, if I do, nobody involved in this Kafkaesque nightmare is willing - or able - to tell me who that person is).

Apparently, I'm autistic; now, obviously there's nothing wrong with being neurodivergent -of course there isn’t - it's just that I'm, well, not. Just like the nonexistent MCA assessment, I've never had an autism assessment - the first time I learnt of my 'diagnosis' was when my current social worker (I reckon I've had about eight now in the almost six years this surreal situation has been ongoing) casually mentioned it in an email. What I do believe I have is CPTSD; I have a long history of abuse, including CSA and DV (it was after I sought assistance from the NDVH after fleeing my violent, controlling, alcoholic ex, that I ended up in the hell I now find myself in; I put off trying to seek support for several years - I was forced to return to my parents and they didn't make it easy for me to do so) and - now - I bitterly regret doing so, had I not done so, I'd still be free. 

I believe that the shrink at the ATU (where I spent 16 months) wasn't trauma-informed (she was VILE, one of the most abhorrent people I've ever had the misfortune to encounter: officious, arrogant, thoroughly obnoxious, just a very, very, horrible human being, completely devoid of a single scintilla of empathy or compassion), so she decided that I must be autistic (the irony that it's far harder for girls and women to be diagnosed as neurodivergent isn’t lost on me). Then she detained me under the MCA (I didn't learn about that after I'd been in the care home for people with severe learning disabilities and complex needs she had me dumped in for about six months (one of the support workers - who'd taken great dislike to me, after I ripped her a new one for constantly yelling at and berating other residents, most of whom were nonverbal and almost all almost certainly lacked mental capacity, after she left one girl in tears - casually dropped it into conversation). 

So, because she had no understanding of complex trauma, she decided to 'diagnose' me as autistic. Now, obviously, I'm sure that most people on this forum are aware that no two autistic people are the same, but the reason I believe I'm detained under the MCA is because this - and I can’t call her what I want to call her, because the mods would ban me - woman had a very blinkered, stereotyped view of what it means to be autistic, including that all autistic people have no sense of danger (which I'm sure you all know is utter testicles), which is why I now find myself detained under the MCA/DoLS. 

I PROMISE I'm getting to the point - honest! 

I've now been dumped in five places in six years, all of them wholly unsuitable for someone suffering from complex trauma (I managed to escape from one but, because the four years preceding that had such a deleterious effect on my physical - as well as my mental  - health, I wasn't able to stay free; I ended up in Bristol Royal Infirmary, from where I was dumped where I now am, a **bleep**ty flat in the **bleep**-end of Bristol).

The first week I was here, my 'carers' decided to take away my phone (I literally have no control over any aspect of my life, which is causing me extreme frustration, stress and anxiety), which I'd been using as a hotspot (I had an unlimited data contract which my mother had set up for me). They also have control over my internet access (at the time it was set up, the only ISP round here was VM). Ten days ago, the Hub died (Hub 3), and they ordered a replacement; now, for the first six months I was here, the Hub was in the living room, and I had access to the Hub settings, and I was able to separate the 2.4GHz and 5GHz channels; they then removed the Hub from the living room and took it over to their side of the building (which meant that my connection speeds deteriorated, because the signal now has to pass though three doors and a thick wall) and, because it's been decided tat I'm stupid, they're refusing to give me the login details for the replacement Hub, so I can’t separate the channels, meaning that speeds are unreliable and usually extremely slow. The problem is that that they're hardly Mensa candidates and most of them are barely literate (their command of written English is particularly poor) and they infantilise me; for example, they send me several emails a day (they send me so many emails that my mail client is marking them as spam) reminding me about their 'activities' which, today, included a colouring book (the sort you'd give to a nursery-aged child) and painting (and I'm obviously not talking about fine art here). I'm now so chronically ill, due in no small part to their inability to provide me with proper meals, that I simply don't have the energy to do anything (I also have hardly any clothes because I've given them stuff to wash and they've refused to return it, claiming I'd never given them anything!).

I am, obviously, an adult, and I have a fully-functioning brain. 

I'm at the stage now where I'm on the verge of a full-scale breakdown, I simply CANNOT take dealing with pathologically stupid people anymore; I have pleaded with those involved in keeping me a prisoner to free me, and my protestations have simply been ignored. I've demanded a capacity assessment but - to date - my demands have been ignored, so I'm forced to spend every single day in the bedroom doom-scrolling Reddit, and trying to find something - ANYTHING - to keep my mind occupied so that I don't think about trying to find some way of throwing myself out of the bedroom window (all windows have those safety locks). They've now taken that away from me (this post may not even post, the connection is that bad).. I explained to staff that I know what the issue is, and that I could fix it in about thirty seconds if they gave me the login details for the Hub settings but, because I'm dealing with people who are completely braindead, they likely didn't understand what I was saying (I even resorted to literally drawing them a picture, and explaining to them that the two channels were concurrent and the Hub was operating at the speed of the 2.4GHz channel, which was why it was slow). 

I apparently lack the capacity to represent myself, nor can I change my solicitor; obviously, you can’t simply claim someone is non compos mentis, it must be proven, and they are refusing to prove it. 

(to give you an idea of what I have to contend with; they bought me new bedding a couple of months ago, and left it in the living room with a note reading "this are your new bedings" - they'd bought a king-size duvet cover and fitted sheet for a small double bed! They also can’t cook and, when they attempt to do so, the results are either raw, undercooked or cremated - my pointing this out to them is ignored. They also keep giving me things I can’t eat (I'm severely gluten intolerant which, obviously, I've attempted to explain to them - I even gave them a list of things I can't eat - and they've ignored that, too)). I have an extremely low - read practically nonexistent - tolerance threshold for stupid people, and that's even lower when the people I'm dealing with choose to remain ignorant. 

So, I now need to find an alternative way to access the internet; when I initially lost access, I found that there was an EE public hotspot fairly close by, but I'm obviously right at the edge of its range here, because it was an exercise in frustration trying to connect and remaining connected.

So, as I mentioned right at the beginning of this missive, I have an M4 iPad Pro, and I'm thinking that the only way I'm going to be able to get a reliable connection is by using that as a hotspot (which will mean that I have to beg my social worker to allow me access to the funds to pay for it); the problem is that I don't think I'll be able to get a contract because my credit rating is virtually nonexistent (I'm on DLA and PIP), so I would need a pay monthly eSIM, if such a thing exists - and, obviously, I'd need unlimited data. Is this possible...? I don't know what other option(s) I have  Right now my mental and physical health have deteriorated to the point where I'm wondering what the f**king point of actually existing is, if I'm going to be spending the rest of my life as a prisoner (if I was a criminal, I'd have a statutory right to appeal my sentence, and I'd not be imprisoned without a fair trial - I don't and I was (because the fact that I've never had a capacity assessment is basically the same as banging someone up without due legal process). I have a solicitor, but she's not acting in my best interests (how the f**k can it be in the best interests of someone who is suffering from complex trauma to spend their days being forced to exist in situations which exacerbate, reinforce and continue to traumatise them (I have been physically, psychologically and sexually abused here, but my trauma means that I have no access to medical care and I can’t go to the police because - as I'm sure you'll appreciate - I wouldn't be able to discuss the abuse with anyone in the same building as my abusers, and I'm not able to speak to a GP, either, because I'm not somewhere I feel safe). 

Perhaps saying all this isn’t appropriate here, but I'm DESPERATE to make people aware of my situation (and, if this is happening to me, how many more people is it happening to...? I refuse to believe I'm the only one), and being online is my sole connection to the outside world. 

[Lesley_W]

Hi @AtheneNoctua 

I'm really concerned to hear what's been going on and how it's making you feel. I've sent you a private message to your community inbox.

Lesley